Wednesday, January 6

A Modern Inconvenience



This is how our story begins...

One evening, about supper-time, Audrey needs to buy about 10 gallons of water. (That is a totally different story.) Before she leaves the house her husband is very adamant that she get air in the van tire while she is out. Audrey agrees.

Before she leaves the house she looks at the tire. "Yeah, it's low," she says to herself, "But there's plenty of air to get to the gas station." Boy was she WRONG! - Insert sarcastic snicker -

It is exactly one mile to the nearest Air compressor. Audrey makes it .75 miles when she hears (and feels) a terrible thud... thud... thud... Audrey drove for about another 30 seconds frantically looking for a place to pull over. When Audrey stopped on a side street to take a look at the damage, she was floored! The tire had come off of the rim!

"What do I do now? Do I knock on the door of this house? or do I pull out my handy dandy cell phone and call my husband who is at home with 5 children and couldn't help me anyway?"

Here's where the story splits. Have you seen the movie Sliding Doors?

Let's pretend that Audrey decided to knock on the door... this is how that story would end:

Audrey: "Hi, can I use your phone? I have a flat tire and I need to find someone to change it."

Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house: "Sure you can use my phone, but I can change your tire if you like."

Audrey: "Really? That would be wonderful! Thank you so much!!"

Total time: 30 minutes

WAIT! I forgot to mention the weather - this is why the time is so important. It's about 20* and dropping since the sun is going down. Said van has no heat, said driver is wearing 2 sweatshirts for lack of a winter coat. Oh and it's starting to flurry.

Back to story... this is what REALLY happened:

Audrey calls her husband and they discuss what to do. She then remembers that she has roadside assistance through Verizon (a wonderful wonderful service I might add). The nice Verizon lady said that it would be about 45 minutes.

Telephone calls: 15 minutes

Audrey sits and waits.

Time: 30 minutes

Audrey forgets that the radio works and turns it on. Not too long after the Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house walks toward Audrey's van.

Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house: "Are you ok?"

Audrey: "Yeah, I've got someone coming."

Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house: "A wrecker?"

Audrey: "Yeah, I have roadside assistance and they are sending xxxxx Wrecker."

Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house laughs: "I drive a wrecker (for a different company) but I'm off tonight. That company is slow, how long did they say?"

Audrey: "They have about 3 more minutes and then they're late."

Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house: "Well, if they don't show up in the next 20-30 minutes I'll come back out and change it for you."

Audrey: "Thanks so much, I really appreciate it."

Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house goes back into nice warm house.

Time: 20 minutes

Audrey sees the wrecker go down the wrong street. Then she prays for forgiveness for all of the nasty thoughts she had about that man.

Audrey sees Nice-man-who-lives-in-the-house walk outside and shake his head at said wrecker driving down wrong street.

Wrecker-man parks in front of Audrey's van. He doesn't even say hi as he walks past her to look at the tire.

Wrecker-man: "Where's your spare?"

Audrey: "Under the back."

Wrecker-man: "Do I need any tools to get it off?"

Audrey is dumbfounded. How on earth should she know?!? She raises kids for a living, what does he do? So she says, "I have no idea."

Wrecker-man is not very friendly and he uses very nasty language. At one point Wrecker-man tries - for lack of a better word - to be friendly. "How long have you been waiting?"

Audrey: "Over an hour."

Wrecker-man: "I just got the call 20 minutes ago. I was in Knoxville."

Audrey has to restrain herself. Audrey is not as naive as she may seem. Audrey knows that unless one can teleport (or maybe fly) it is IMPOSSIBLE to get here from Knoxville in 20 minutes.

Wrecker-man is finally finished: 40 minutes

Total time: 1 hour 45 minutes

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sweet to the taste and health to the body.
~ Proverbs 16:24